Arrangements

I'm at this curious point in my relationship with someone new, where it's almost as if we're negotiating the terms of a romance. I suppose that's necessary — we're both curious about one another, one might even say eager, and we each know where one another stands (I'm still married, for the moment). But we've both been deeply hurt by someone we loved, and we both have reason to be cautious.

So we flit around the edges, and stumble over the difficult questions, made even more so by so much that we don't feel comfortable saying.

I met her today for coffee, at a small table in a crowded mall. I came to have the odd sensation of being on display — as if people, as if strangers were looking at me and somehow knew exactly what I was thinking. It made the difficult questions even more so. We got so involved in talking, we forgot all about the coffee.