Days

School ended for the year this past week. My memory of Kindergarten is fairly distant after all these years, but I have a vague sense that my son got much more out of it than I ever did at his age. (Or perhaps this is something you only begin to appreciate as a parent.) He's beginning to read and write on his own, complete with his own charmingly awkward spelling. It's fun to watch him puzzle words out for himself, exciting when he spontaneously recognizes them.

As a child, I remember how much I enjoyed the unstructured days of Summer ― though I'm somewhat more apprehensive about all this as a parent, perhaps even the slightest bit resentful at the loss of my unstructured days. (They may be unstructured, but they've still been busy.) The loss will only be a temporary one, though ― my son has been recommended for Summer classes, which will start in another week, and there are other activities planned, as well.

In the meanwhile, we've been enjoying the days spent together.

Project

I've started on a large freelance project that has taken up just about all of my free time. I need the money — divorce is a surprisingly expensive process! — but it's frustrating to have no time for much else (including writing).

Father's Day

Being a parent has been, I think, one of the few times in my life that I've felt a real sense of confidence. Perhaps "confident" isn't the word I'm looking for — is it a sense of serenity? Or of ease?

My wife worries constantly, even at the slightest of concerns. I don't think I've never felt that way — not even during the frightening new experience of having a newborn at home for the first time, no more than a few days old. It's not that I'm uncconnected or unconcerned — perhaps it's just a vague sense that this is an experience best enjoyed, rather than fretted over.

My gift has been to spend the day in peace and solitude, and I am enjoying it immensely.

Passing

The days have slipped by, while I have become entangled in someone else's enigma.

It's been too hot to sleep.